I’m restless and I don’t know what to do with myself.

One of the major pressures in my life has been relieved temporarily, and now i’m stuck worked up, frustrated and confused about what I’m supposed to be doing. I mean yes, there is the typical day to day stuff, but in general, i’ve got this feeling of listlessness; existing with no real direction or goal.

Maybe this will go away when i get back to the usual routine, when the pressure kicks back up.

I had to reschedule the appointment with my shrink today, because of mom’s accident yesterday. We weren’t sure if mom was going to be okay today, and dad didn’t want to leave not being sure.

Does anyone really understand the feeling I described earlier? The sort of… lost feeling. Everything is almost as it usually is, but take away that one source of pressure and i go “AAAH! WHAT NOW?”

I do have this feeling, that I’d like to make or accomplish something. But I don’t know if i have the time, patience of privacy to really get anything done. I dunno. I am tired of constantly being surrounded by people, yet slightly lonely. Its not that I’m abandoned or anything, my family and friends are great, but sometimes i feel like I’m alone in a lot of ways, I’m not really sure how to put it.

Lu is still in the hospital. I think she gets out tomorrow. I can’t wait to see her. Both ways.

Wz has seemed distant. Not in a cold or negative way, but in a “I need to have more alone time” way. I think i’m doing better at letting her. Of course mentioning it here probably defeats that purpose. Oh well.

I’m tired. Not sleepy, but… just… i don’t know. Tired. Monotony.

I didn’t get out to walk today, but I’m going to tomorrow. I’m generally happier when I do.

9 Responses to “I’m restless and I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  1. 1 stranger June 24, 2010 at 7:43 am

    I understand this feeling. Your message is old – so I hope you’re figured it out now.

    – a stranger

  2. 2 A.M.B July 4, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    I just typed in “I’m restless” in the Google search box and your blog showed up. I know the feeling. I’m so restless right now. My parents had a huge fight last night which I just found out this morning because the two of them were shouting at each other. I also feel like I’m stuck in my life right now. I’ve been working for almost a year now in an accounting firm that sucks the life out of me and I want to get out of it so badly yet I don’t have the energy to apply elsewhere. Tomorrow is a new day and yet I’m not looking forward to it. I hope my life becomes sensible soon. I’m gradually losing my faith in myself. 😦

    • 3 mathaytacechristou July 26, 2010 at 1:36 am

      Sorry I didn’t see your comment till now, but I’m not the only one that feels that from time to time.

      Hope everything gets worked out for you. god Bless.

  3. 4 Spell January 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    I understand wt ur going through. Its like walking in a crowd of strangers. Being in a room full of people and yet feeling alone.

  4. 5 Mazhar January 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    Ahhh… Seems like I am in same boat too folks. I read a quote some where that life is like riding a bicycle, in order maintain balance you need to keep it moving. I think it happens when you lowered your expectations from every thing. I mean it doesn’t really matters what ever is happening you just don’t care. Today when I was thinking about this I remembered one text message that was sent to me by a friend of mine a long time ago. I am not sure about exact wordings but its moral was If you want to be successful man that try to make things happen instead of letting them happen to you. May be this is the key? May be developing that skill can make us more alive!

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